i am fucking jealous!
why do these married couples keep running into me!!
literally actually running into me!
why?
2004/04/28
he got married.
i knew it since he stopped writing me
but marriage isn't that a huge deal?
i don't know how he feels about the woman he married but i suppose he married a "woman".
anyway i wrote him a long reply asking him billions of questions.
hopefully i'll be informed soon...
but i am so confused nw
the idea that it could be me whom he just married few months ago...
i knew it since he stopped writing me
but marriage isn't that a huge deal?
i don't know how he feels about the woman he married but i suppose he married a "woman".
anyway i wrote him a long reply asking him billions of questions.
hopefully i'll be informed soon...
but i am so confused nw
the idea that it could be me whom he just married few months ago...
2004/04/26
2004/04/20
i cannot sleep at night nowadays.
i have the exact same dream every night no matter what.
that is why i cannot sleep right now.
i don't wanna go back there.
the same thing had happened to me when i was a kid.
i used to see myself in a train station with a couch and the train went by without stopping every time and i had to run after it.
or hide myself behind the couch because of the evil forces...etc.
now i am not as comfortable telling the dream i am having nowadays as telling my childhood dream because i am still under the influence of it.
i have the exact same dream every night no matter what.
that is why i cannot sleep right now.
i don't wanna go back there.
the same thing had happened to me when i was a kid.
i used to see myself in a train station with a couch and the train went by without stopping every time and i had to run after it.
or hide myself behind the couch because of the evil forces...etc.
now i am not as comfortable telling the dream i am having nowadays as telling my childhood dream because i am still under the influence of it.
too late..
thrown away.
each and every day.
i am on a road which i have no idea where it ends.
and once you're there got to move on other wise you get lost.
anything that has a beginning is said to be having an end.
so i will get somewhere someday hopefully soon.
why do i never think of men so desperately.
there are although few some people who are dying to have boyfriend, who think that they are in love with anyone who asks them out; and here i am so picky!
there women who can love any man back.and when thing so wrong they say it is just was not meant to be. then why did u do it?
why?
because these girls are so desperate, so scared to go out there are chase what could be best for them.
thank god i am not one of them.
no man is my life.
when i love i really do so for many years.
not a few months even weeks
my love my sexuality is still mine, not in the market.
thanks god that you have given me all that i have, and will have.
thrown away.
each and every day.
i am on a road which i have no idea where it ends.
and once you're there got to move on other wise you get lost.
anything that has a beginning is said to be having an end.
so i will get somewhere someday hopefully soon.
why do i never think of men so desperately.
there are although few some people who are dying to have boyfriend, who think that they are in love with anyone who asks them out; and here i am so picky!
there women who can love any man back.and when thing so wrong they say it is just was not meant to be. then why did u do it?
why?
because these girls are so desperate, so scared to go out there are chase what could be best for them.
thank god i am not one of them.
no man is my life.
when i love i really do so for many years.
not a few months even weeks
my love my sexuality is still mine, not in the market.
thanks god that you have given me all that i have, and will have.
2004/04/19
2004/04/16
2004/04/14
2004/04/10
this excitement is growing by the minute.
we all have started to get drawn in the details when the admission is unknown.
oh please this one month should go by so fast that i might remember it as if it was a day when i am through this.
many people went and came back from different contexts.
but i feel like my experience is going to be different.
that it is going to change my life so permanently that i won't be back.
people are only experts in suffering.
but i know how to enjoy what i have.
we all have started to get drawn in the details when the admission is unknown.
oh please this one month should go by so fast that i might remember it as if it was a day when i am through this.
many people went and came back from different contexts.
but i feel like my experience is going to be different.
that it is going to change my life so permanently that i won't be back.
people are only experts in suffering.
but i know how to enjoy what i have.
2004/04/09
this is so weared.
i know i seem to repeat myself but this is true.
i am in such a rush to apply for masters degree in australia.
this has been my ultimate dream since i was seven,
since i was concious of my existence in other words.
now i gotto sit down and tell those people over there how much i want what they have...
i know i seem to repeat myself but this is true.
i am in such a rush to apply for masters degree in australia.
this has been my ultimate dream since i was seven,
since i was concious of my existence in other words.
now i gotto sit down and tell those people over there how much i want what they have...
2004/04/03
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