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i could escape this feeling with my china girl
i feel a wreck without my little china girl
i hear her heart beating loud as thunder
saw they stars crashing

i'm a mess without my little china girl
wake up mornings where's my little china girl
i hear her heart's beating loud as thunder
saw they stars crashing down

i feel a-tragic like i'm marlon brando
when i look at my china girl
i could pretend that nothing really meant too much
when i look at my china girl

i stumble into town just like a sacred cow
visions of swastikas in my head
plans for everyone
it's in the whites of my eyes

my little china girl
you shouldn't mess with me
i'll ruin everything you are
i'll give you television
i'll give you eyes of blue
i'll give you men who want to rule the world

and when i get excited
my little china girl says
oh baby just you shut your mouth
she says ... sh-sh-shhh

if i am ever gonna be occupied want to be a loser.
i want to lose all day ( of course during work hours ), and get paid for it.
please god make my dreams come true and never let me down to having suppose to be occupied because then all i am gonna be is a loser!
a loser!
may even be two!

f.c.u.k.

should i stay or should i go?

please!!

i just got home
and still and drove for so long that my ass still feels the car seat!

a weekend away is nice!
friday nights i am a bitch
sunday night i am a magdalane sister!

so far so good

this is what i call international relations!

he really is married.
is it a big deal?
should this matter to me?
considering the fact that i have not seen him for so long
thought of him so few
but only remembered the memories gently.
is this it?
is this how love ends?
true love where you think of your beloved more than anything else in the whole wild world!

forever young.

i am the beloved nowadays.
everyone seems to be after me.
so agrressive i have become against those who desire me.
so smooth to those i love.

buffy ends this season.
spike dies in buffy and comes back to angel.
faith goes back to buffy.
cordelia's kid is gonna be the bad guy of the next series.
i watched it all in Berlin before!!

i am going on a vacation tomorrow!
with 4 guys...
i am such a shame!!

one hell of a night
do you know there are people you can talk about anything
do anything with
you know...
people with whom you can be really you!!
you don't know?!
what a shame.

cure.
i'm in love.

it just occured to me that i met someone really suitable for my temporary positioning;
and oh God did i just let him slip away from my hands.
Fridaay I'm in love!!

sascha, troy, sting, araf...
sunday.

got to quit it.

dorothy perkins, levi's, zara...
too much shopping might cause permanent brain damage.

dorothy perkins, levi's, zara...
too much shopping might cause permanent brain damage.

dorothy perkins, levi's, zara...
too much shopping might cause permanent brain damage.

rythm line bronx roxy...
i am going bitcher and bitcher everyday!!!

rythm line bronx roxy...
i am going bitcher and bitcher everyday!!!

so many men
trying to get me
what the hell ever that means
i am tired of running away
so tired
so drunk
oh god thanks that i still survive with my dignity.

so many men
trying to get me
what the hell ever that means
i am tired of running away
so tired
so drunk
oh god thanks that i still survive with my dignity.

wish me luck...
i am only happy when it rains...

today is gonna be a tough day
a rough day...
got some much to do although time is enough
my nerves may not be.
still o tense...

today is gonna be a tough day
a rough day...
got some much to do although time is enough
my nerves may not be.
still o tense...

got to go
and break the bonds...
i feel dizzy about it.
what should i be thankful for...they should thank me!
all the work i did and the way i was treated the last day, it was awful..
i wish it was on tape so that i had some proof!
oh God help me get over this as fast and smooth as possible.
why do i feel so tense still?

i hate some people.
really hate them.
especially those with no intellectual aspect but only ignorance,
and still they pretend to be someone else someone more info loaded.
why ? what the hell for do you pretend ?

written so many words in the last couple of hours
and may be even more
but for only one
just please be worth it!

i need better friends.
that's for sure.

sydney
here i come
you can't hide
gonna findd u
and take it slowly

porn porn porn
for the first time in history
raki and porn...

i better star reading
better get used to it
or i'll suck over the ocean
above the clouds
by the angel looking hot surfing boys
got to go...

sydney
new south wales
monash

come onnnnnnn!

i sleep to muchh
or none
what have i become
i do not care much about the rest it seems
just wanna know what's next...

pretty dirty things

pretty dirty things

my pervert had an operation
he had one of his kidneys removed
wonder why

beliz'i özledim.

i had a car accident last evening.
i was shocked.
and my new car was a bit shaken also.
i am having a great weekend with friends i enjoy very much.
i think i am gonna miss many of them when i am gone.
but hopefully they will have replacements
euheueheuh

olcay is my new best friend!

i rock babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
i fucking rock really fucking like hell!!
oh yea baby
i did it!
i am gonna rock sydneyyy!

a decent job a man ...not what i am looking for.
nothing decent attracts me anymore
not since my heart got fucked up so bad that i cannot stop loving because i am addicted to the pain.
weird ha?
no more than...
because if u think this is weird the rest would only tramatise u petite.

i don't see how anyone can accept a life without trace
no trace because they do nothing uniqeu
when i do something
i want my art to say this is hers
i am hers
i am her
i want it to be a part of me
of this whole experience or journey or what the fuck ever anyone else might name it
well gotta believe in tomorrow
yea just gotta!

i am gonna go
easiest line to write
hardest to do nowadays
oh god please help me go forward
i am so sick of ending a journey where i began in the first place

whenever i take a look what i wrote before
it only makes me feel bad
even the good times hurt me
why is that?
when where how why did i decide to leave everything i had
is it because i did not have much
or that i had to leave not to be embarrassed any longer
why am i up right now
i wanna be asleep
these long night are killing me
i cannot do anything
too old to watch a movie to read a book or to live
but too young to feel to heavy
balance is what is missing from my life
from my time
beatles is just like these long night
killing me
oh yea love was easy to play
when i was loved
really

yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
now i need a place to hide away
oh, i believe in yesterday

why she had to go i don't know, she wouldn't say
i said something wrong, now i long for yesterday