i have decided to settle here. everyday i am becoming more of an aussie!
not that i am proud of it but just to reveal the truth i mentioned. that's all there is to it.
i am weird at least kind of weird.
finally i have found some people like me, after so many years in istanbul looking for those who are like me, they seem to have grown together here in sydney!
actually i have started to believe that everyone has their wordly twin here in sydney, everyone from all over the world has been dublicated and one let on its own where as the other is here on this huge island with the rest of us.
that's why i guess i don't miss people much, as long as they're not my beloved not really.
anyway i am living in this georgeous house, having some baileys with my neighrbour on my balcony, going dancing with cute guys, lying by the beach with friends...etc. i guess i found what i was looking for.
peace.
2005/01/14
my life has always been like this
a rollercoaster made up of different phases.
it is not going up and down but the point is rather that it goes in a very different direction at one time from another.
god forbid i am sometimes afraid that i am just going to fall off!
what have done? i ask myself quiet often in the last couple of years.
i am growing to become more and more like peter sellers.
but i am no dr.strangelove or the pink panther!
i am just a girl whose intentions are good
but a girl who can never manage on her own although she believes she can.
how much longer will it take until i realize that i should forbid myself to make any decisions at all?
i know this blog sounds really dark and pessimistic and on the contrary my life is going very well everyday i meet new people see new places have new dreams about places i haven't been to people haven't met yet! may be it is this unknown coming at my door every morning that is freaking me out,
i am sure nothing can give me the creeps more than my downstairs neighbour! real bastard and a shame on his community!
anyway he is not ht eissue here, this new phase is mine! i can never change the theme of this blog since everytime a new phase is over it is nothing other than another new phase coming through as if my life was an emergency room and new phases come running in one after another all bleeding and scared but still firm.
i wish myself the best of all new phases from now on.
a rollercoaster made up of different phases.
it is not going up and down but the point is rather that it goes in a very different direction at one time from another.
god forbid i am sometimes afraid that i am just going to fall off!
what have done? i ask myself quiet often in the last couple of years.
i am growing to become more and more like peter sellers.
but i am no dr.strangelove or the pink panther!
i am just a girl whose intentions are good
but a girl who can never manage on her own although she believes she can.
how much longer will it take until i realize that i should forbid myself to make any decisions at all?
i know this blog sounds really dark and pessimistic and on the contrary my life is going very well everyday i meet new people see new places have new dreams about places i haven't been to people haven't met yet! may be it is this unknown coming at my door every morning that is freaking me out,
i am sure nothing can give me the creeps more than my downstairs neighbour! real bastard and a shame on his community!
anyway he is not ht eissue here, this new phase is mine! i can never change the theme of this blog since everytime a new phase is over it is nothing other than another new phase coming through as if my life was an emergency room and new phases come running in one after another all bleeding and scared but still firm.
i wish myself the best of all new phases from now on.
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