it is so stupid to keep waiting,
when is it gonna be someone else's turn to wait...
then i am gonna be late.

well well well
there is nothing worse than digging your own grave i guess.
no i don't guess, it is so.
all day i have been surfing the net thinking of everything. and in the end i kept on digging my own grave.
i quit my job and now i cant get a reply from the other company on the price....
i don't know how much i am worth but i do know that they don't know either.
now i am waiting to hear from them. if there is nothing, then i guess i am just unemployed.
what the fuck have i done i ask myself, then i notice this is just what i wanted what i needed. a huge crash, a great distraction that would take me away from that shit hole empty love life of mine.
now all i can think of is work work work.... for the last month or so. actually two months almost.
i have distracted myself big time!
now it is time again that i et back on my two feet!
get a career woman!!! now!
yes that is what i tell myself as well.
no more hours even days spent expecting a phonecall, no more nights going back and forth trying to decide whether to send a message or not, no more drinking heavily to forget all!
only work work work... i am gonna go to the gym straight from work today. i just wanna sweat and relax. take a nice shower and get my shit together.
there has been no reply form the future company about my price. i am hoping to hear from them something progressive. or i'll call the human resources tomorrow and make sure that they know that i am gonna start working there at the beginning of the next month. well hope so at least!
otherwise i am screwed! big time!